Humans of GKT

Aurelia Stoddart

Year 2

7 Dec 2022

"Go out and do things because you want to do them, not because it's what's expected of you"

<p class="font_8">Medicine has so many challenges and expectations: to perform at the top of your year in exams, to make a million friends, to live a healthy and balanced lifestyle, to be a diligent student, and effective communicator. But amongst all that, where is the lenience for the days when you can’t get yourself out of bed or make yourself eat?</p>
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<p class="font_8">I think myself and many others in healthcare find us asking ourselves ‘How can I look after others if I can’t look after myself?’</p>
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<p class="font_8">I don’t have an exact answer for that question (I don’t think anyone really does), but I can tell you that there’s no expectation for you to be in perfect health all the time as a medical professional, just as we wouldn’t expect our patients to always be 100% healthy. Life events happen, circumstances change, and sometimes we all need a bit of extra help.</p>
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<p class="font_8">I started uni on antidepressants having already undergone several bouts of therapy, hoping I’d ‘fixed’ myself enough to be the student and doctor I needed to be. Despite these expectations I had for myself, over the last year I’ve actually increased my dosage and accessed counselling again through KCL.</p>
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<p class="font_8">I want everyone to know that reaching out for help is never a sign of weakness or a barrier to becoming an excellent doctor- if anything it’ll make you more resilient and understanding of a patient’s perspective in the future.</p>
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<p class="font_8">Moving from GCSEs to A Levels to university has brought with it so many challenges and a constant ride of highs and lows which everyone will experience in different ways. Going into a career with such high expectations and also incredibly high rates of mental illness and burnout, you need to be looking out for yourself and your peers from day one. There is a life outside of medicine and these are the best years to be out creating that for yourself.</p>

Indya Wardle

Year 2

23 Nov 2022

"I'm learning to be patient with myself and find joy as much as I possibly can"

<p class="font_8">In September, I was really looking forward to beginning my second year at medical school. However, shortly into the term I became ill with pneumonia, spending time in hospital and taking time off to recover at home. I had made a decent recovery and was ready to carry on and get stuck into the course and placements. However, shortly after I fell ill again, struggling with recurrent infections, feeling constantly exhausted and suffering from more unpleasant symptoms that were having a major impact on my daily life and my degree.<br>
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I spent 6 months in limbo between London and my home in Manchester where I was getting various tests, scans, investigations and meeting with consultants, causing severe disruption to my studies and personal life. The times I was able to be down in London there was no guarantee I would be well enough to attend teaching, and if I was I definitely wasn’t ‘well’, I was just getting by as best as I could.<br>
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When you’re sat in lectures, learning about different conditions and diseases and how to treat them, it doesn’t usually cross your mind that it could affect you or your fellow students sat beside you. It has been extremely strange but eye opening to be on the receiving end of health care services so frequently over the past year or so - I’ve struggled with life-limiting symptoms, the worry and uncertainty of what the diagnosis may be and what impact it may have for me in the long run, all whilst trying to keep up with uni as best as I could. When the diagnosis finally came through, it was a relief to have an answer, but my next challenge was to get my head around living with a life-long autoimmune condition as well as managing my immunodeficiency.<br>
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Throughout all this, I am so glad that I didn’t struggle alone and reached out to my friends and family as well as members of the faculty and my personal tutor.</p>
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<p class="font_8">Everyone was so understanding and provided emotional support as well as helping me fit my hospital appointments around my university timetable and accommodating for when I was too ill to attend.<br>
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I have four pieces of advice for anyone going through a similar experience with a chronic condition, be it physical or mental: The first is to reach out and let staff know if you feel comfortable doing so, as they are there to help and support you. The second is to know that you are not alone! It can feel really isolating and strange to suffer from a chronic condition as you feel like you are constantly being a ‘caretaker’ when we are training to be ‘caregivers’. There is a definite stigma around healthcare professionals who are living with chronic conditions, however, there are more people than we realise that are experiencing similar things so talking about it is key - I hope that by sharing my story I have helped others feel less alone. My third piece of advice is to educate others around you if you can. Many chronic illnesses are generally quite misunderstood but if you can educate your friends, family and the wider community it can make living with a chronic illness that little bit easier. My final piece of advice is to be kind to yourself. Living with a chronic condition is not easy, especially if it is an ‘invisible’ illness which won’t necessarily be obvious to others around you. Give yourself the rest and the space you may need. Be forgiving on the days when your symptoms flare, allowing time for your mind and body to heal, and allow yourself time to adapt and learn what is best for you and your condition.</p>

Lucy Stiles

Year 2

28 Apr 2022

"Give yourself the rest and the space you may need. Be forgiving on the days when your symptoms flare, allowing time for your mind and body to heal, and allow yourself time to adapt and learn what is best for you and your condition.”

<p class="font_8"><strong>“You go to a state school, it’s unlikely that you’ll get into medical school”</strong><br>
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For someone who’s had a deep desire to pursue medicine as a career for a long time, this was probably the most discouraging thing I heard during the application process. A sentence that may not mean much to others has definitely had a negative impact on my journey, nevertheless pushing me to work harder and aim higher. People tend to associate medical school with individuals who’ve attended Grammar and Private schools however, I soon realised this wasn’t the case.<br>
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Moving to the UK from Afghanistan at the age of 11 with little to no English; having to adapt to a completely different environment, education system and culture in general, it was incredibly tough to settle in at first. Phrases like that being the only form of advice I got from my teachers, alongside being the first person to ever apply to medicine from my school, definitely made it a lot more difficult. However, from this I’ve learnt that although we can easily point fingers at others around us for things not going well, by working hard, staying determined and focussed on our goal and taking each day as it comes are all that will allow us to thrive no matter the stereotype.<br>
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Don’t ever let where you were, determine where you could be. As long as you put in the time and effort, you will get there. You determine your future.</p>

Zalanda Shinwarie

Year 1

26 Apr 2022

"Don’t ever let where you were, determine where you could be. As long as you put in the time and effort, you will get there. You determine your future."

<p class="font_8"><strong>“You’re just wired different, Bea!”</strong><br>
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Initially a well-meaning joke that my friends used to throw around whenever the topic of my sleep schedule or study habits were concerned, this exact sentence prophesied a turning point in my development. At 21, I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD, a fact that would lift the weight of my worries off of my chest and give me the catharsis I had needed all along. After years of feeling like an engine running on reserve, I had reached a tipping point where being inside my own head felt like a full-time job. In an already competitive enough course where imposter syndrome and mental health concerns are rampant, I felt enslaved by an indecipherable, unfathomable brain fog. When I wasn’t busy developing the same anxiety-induced arrhythmias mentioned in my lecture slides after hours of unproductive studying, I was drowning in guilt over watching cat videos on YouTube and deep-cleaning my kitchen during Zoom seminars.<br>
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My work mantra of “diamonds are made under pressure” suddenly became the bane of my existence. My lack of enthusiasm fuelled my procrastination with the latter only temporarily quelled by a rush of adrenaline when I suddenly had 12 hours left and a pack of Monster Mango Loco to submit my coursework from scratch. I was exhausted and ashamed, blaming my emotional turmoil on “laziness” and a lack of willpower.<br>
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What felt even more difficult that living with undiagnosed ADHD was asking for help. Well-meaning but unproductive comments citing my intelligence and academic achievements as reasons to rule out mental health struggles started to feel like gaslighting. It was the first time that I felt discriminated against as a patient; a silly, melodramatic woman who just wasn’t good enough at coping in the eyes of my GP.</p>
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<p class="font_8">Unfortunately not all doctors will be empathetic, which is why you must be empathetic with yourself first. Medical students, in particular those of us who are women, minorities, or part of any marginalized group, are often pushed to our limit and forced to internalize our struggles by institutions like the NHS. Do not let them. Simply being “allowed” in a historically white and male-dominated field is not enough. Be loud. Be dramatic. Be aggressive. You owe it to yourself to learn how to be a taker rather than just a giver.<br>
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There are occasionally days when I feel the same familiar guilt slowly creeping inside my mind. The ADHD brain is a fascinating one: brilliant, hyper focused, and resilient, but equally so self-destructive, impulsive, and temperamental. I still struggle at times (though significantly less than before), but with one major exception now: for once, even with all the hardships and confusion, there isn’t a single thing I would change about myself.</p>

Bea Duric

Year 3

19 Apr 2022

"Unfortunately not all doctors will be empathetic, which is why you must be empathetic with yourself first. Medical students, in particular those of us who are women, minorities, or part of any marginalized group, are often pushed to our limit and forced to internalize our struggles."